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Lamar Odom Confesses He Wished He Could’ve Been ‘More Of A Man’ For Khloe Kardashian

While reflecting on his troubled marriage with Khloe Kardashian and how he put her through hell with his infidelity and drug use, Lamar Odom admitted that he ‘regrets’ how he treated his ex-wife.

“I wish I could have been more of a man,” Lamar Odom, 39, said to PEOPLE when speaking about his four-year marriage to Khloe Kardashian, 34. The NBA champion admitted that he cheated on the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star and that he was addicted to cocaine while he was with KoKo. It’s been five years since they split (they finalized their divorce in 2016) and Lamar admits he still regrets how it all came crashing down. “It still bothers me to this day. But regret is something we have to learn to live with.”

“For a while, being with her was bliss and I was the happiest I’ve ever been,” the former Los Angeles Lakers star writes in his new memoir, Darkness To Light (which was exclusively excerpted in PEOPLE.) “We were one of the most famous couples in Hollywood, and we made more money together than we had individually. … At the start of our marriage, I was faithful to her. I could not handle the lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career, and infidelity. Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression. … I couldn’t

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